Domestic violence, and other forms of partner abuse, are aggressive behaviors by one person in an intimate relationship to dominate the other. Abuse can happen in marriages and other romantic partnerships, both heterosexual and same-sex, including former relationships. Abusers and their partners come from all age groups, ethnicities, genders, and socioeconomic levels.
Forms of Domestic Violence and Abuse
Domestic violence and abuse can take the following forms:
- Physical: violent behavior.
- Sexual: forced sexual acts.
- Emotional: manipulation and verbal aggression.
- Financial: restrictive control of money.
- Stalking: harassment of a former partner.
Signs of Abusive Relationships
Relationships are complicated. Learning to recognize the signs can help partners understand their situation. A relationship is likely abusive if a person:
- Physically hurts or endangers a partner.
- Threatens to injure or kill a partner, take children, destroy belongings, kill pets, or commit suicide if the relationship ends.
- Coerces sex, including humiliating or dangerous acts.
- Verbally attacks the partner to belittle, berate, shame, and intimidate.
- Minimizes the abuse or blames someone or something else for the abuse.
- Acts so abusively that the partner is embarrassed for others to witness it.
- Treats a partner like property.
- Keeps a partner from friends, family, the internet, or a vehicle.
- Controls or checks up on a partner’s location and activities frequently.
- Limits a partner’s freedom to leave the house unaccompanied.
- Restricts access to or steals money from a partner.
- Withholds necessities such as food, medicine, and clothing.
- Denies the partner the right to work or sabotages a job.
How To Prevent Domestic Violence
Individuals can prevent domestic violence by performing the following actions:
- Get a prepaid “burner” phone to keep communications and locations private when necessary.
- Prevent internet monitoring by using safe computers and changing passwords.
- Watch for surveillance via home security cameras or GPS devices.
- Recognize triggers and be prepared with reasons to leave the house.
- Identify safe spaces at home, ideally with a phone and outside exit.
- Establish a code word to signal family or friends to call the police.
- Rehearse an escape plan and pack a bag with cash and essentials.
- Fuel a vehicle and park it facing a road or street; ensure easy access to a key.
- Know where to turn to for resources for domestic violence support.
Why Is It Important to Seek Help for Domestic Violence and Abuse?
Abused partners sometimes try to excuse abuse, especially the emotional variety. But emotional oppression causes significant harm and can escalate to violence. Violent assault within intimate relationships is still assault. Partners who are both physically and sexually attacked are more likely to end up seriously injured or killed.
Even if incidents seem infrequent or minor, it’s still abuse and is unlikely to stop. The need to dominate stems from complex psychological issues that may be difficult to correct, even if the abuser is willing to try. Abusers may continue manipulation, even while in therapy.
Abused partners have damaged self-worth. They can feel alone and ashamed, confused or crazy, anxious and depressed, drained and helpless, even unlovable and deserving of mistreatment. These feelings make seeking assistance hard. It’s essential to remember domestic abuse is never justified. Everyone deserves respect, safety, and independence.
Take the First StepAbused partners have intense emotions to process. Counseling provides vital support. Horizon Counseling Services has caring therapists who specialize in helping abused individuals to heal and create healthy relationships for themselves.
